: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
