i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
