i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
