so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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