Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
