If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
