He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
