she told me i tasted like america
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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