so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
