So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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