think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
