Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize