We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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