im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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