im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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