I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
