Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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