You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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