a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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