I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
