I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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