woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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