i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
