you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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