I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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