wake up i wanna do it froggy style
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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