i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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