break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
