I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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