At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize