If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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