who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
