Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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