Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
