I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
