11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize