no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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