if i can run in heels then i can drive
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I only lived at night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
