i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
