sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
