i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
