Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
