now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
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