do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
