That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
