Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize