I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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