At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
