don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
