I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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