Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
